#87. or, my pathetic retaining wall

  About a month back, as the snow slowly melted from our yard, my retaining wall project, once again reared it's ugly head. I thought, "i should do a post on this retaining wall"

  As things work for me, i began to weave a story in my head. A story about how, over the last three years, i had been collecting flat rocks from fence lines and rock piles to build my retaining wall. It was going to be a grand project. A three level flower bed with a Koi pond, ambient lighting, and a waterfall. Neighbors even saved and brought me flat rocks whenever they came  across them in the field. But after three years, my grand retaining wall looks like this.

Not much to show for a 3 year project.

  I'm probably not going to tell you that story.


  I won't tell you how, as a kid, the very worst job IN THE WORLD was picking rocks. How we would get some other kids together and spend days, walking along side a wagon picking and tossing rocks into it, to clear the field before seeding. How it was dusty and hot and your shoes filled with dirt, so much that when you took off your sock, it went "POOF" and a little dust cloud billowed out of that sock. Or how your feet got so dirty, they looked as if you still had those socks on after you took them off.

  I won't get into how, you couldn't really wear gloves to pick rocks because your hands get all sweaty and then dust and dirt gets into your gloves and makes a mess. Or how at the end of the day, you had a hard time to straighten out because your back hurt so much from stooping over to hoist the rocks off the ground.

  I'm certainly not going to mention, how picking rocks seemed to be the job my dad always chose to do the day after the night before, when i stayed out a little too late, drinking enough that i didn't feel so well the next morning.

  You won't hear me tell you that even though i hate picking rocks so much, i decided to pick rocks for fun to construct my measly retaining wall. How i hunted and dug through piles of rocks to find ones that had just the right shape to be able to stack and turn into a wall. Some of the same piles i had thrown off that miserable wagon as a kid. Or how i had discovered a rock so large and wonderful in a neighbors fence line, that would have been perfect to incorporate into my retaining wall, except for the fact that my loader wouldn't lift it because it weighed too much.

  Why am i not going to tell you all about this?

  Because about a week or so ago, i read a blog about a retaining wall built by Queen Holly The Magnificent. Her wall, is a wall that would laugh at my wall. Her wall would eat my wall up and spit it out like a mouthful of lumpy milk.

 After seeing her retaining wall, i'm a little embarrassed to tell you about mine. Her wall looks like this.

NOW THAT'S A FRICKEN RETAINING WALL!

  She owned that wall! Packed in rocks until she had exhausted her supply then found more and packed them in one at a time across ground that threatened to open up and swallow her whole. And what did she do after she put the last rock into place? Promptly got drunk! That's what! I am in awe of you Holly. I bow before the greatness of you and your wall.

  So now, because i like picking rocks so much, I've decided that i'm going to take down my retaining wall. I'm going to put all those flat rocks into a wagon and move them, one by one, from the front yard to the back to build this.

 ......or maybe this.

  ............i should say, i'm going to try to build something like that. I'm probably lacking the skills to actually build something like that, My stone masonry leaves a little bit to be desired. That and my ambition is a little lacking too. I'm thinking this might be a new three year project.