#142. or, The Bed Post

 We've been sleeping in our new bed for about a week now and while it seems luxuriously blissful, I'm not quite certain if it's actually that, or if it's just fooling me into thinking it's a queen sized piece of heaven.

  When we were in the final stages of renovating our bedroom, one of the things that we wanted to do was change our closet doors. We have two closets. One has a mirrored slider, and the other one has a double bi-fold. We kept the mirrors but replaced the bi-folds with new ones, but it fit the new room better to swap the closet doors for each other. Because we had all new bedroom furniture, it needed to be assembled  before we moved the bi-folds to see if there would be room to open the doors. Anyways, when put the bed together, and wrestled the mattress onto the frame, the obvious thing to do was for each of us to flop onto the bed to see how it felt.

  Even with the mattress covered in that heavy, crinkly plastic bag , (which would be perfect for transporting a dead body, because if I've learned anything from endless reruns of CSI, it's that leaking body fluids are your enemy.) we laid side by side and giggled like we were little kids, the bed was going to be THAT damned good.

  So now, it's been a week or so and the obvious thing about this bed is that it's freaking silent. My wife and I have shared the same bed for over 20 years. And even through a couple different mattress changes, we've always had a squeaky bed. The last 2 months on an air mattress were even worse. Sometimes at night now, I find myself bouncing my ass up and down just to see if I can generate any sound. But there's nothing. The sound of the silence is a little unnerving, and I'm having some trouble getting used to it.

  My beautiful wife and I conceived 3 children in a squeaky bed. Not to mention, doing a fair bit of practicing the art of making babies. I've discovered, having sex in a squeaky bed has been ingrained into my ability to determine, on some level, besides the obvious one, how successful I've been. Rare, has been the occasion, over the span of our life together that there isn't children in our house. That squeaky bed acted like a barometer to let us know when things were getting a little too loud and rambunctious. Conversely, when for one reason or another, we found ourselves alone and stricken by the mood, I could easily gauge the,.........um........ferocity of the onslaught, by the amount of complaining that that bed did. Now there's nothing but silence. Bed silence that is. Because rest assured, we did our best to try to get some sort of noise out of that bed, and while there WAS some noises coming from our bedroom, the bed gave nothing away.

  When I sleep, I'm a completely covered to the neck sleeper. Even in the summer. I've found that I can control my temperature by sliding part of my leg over the edge of the mattress to let in a bit of cool air. So I try to keep a leg close to the edge of the bed. The other thing that I like to do, is have some part of my other leg touching my wife's leg. Like a kid with his teddy bear, it comforts me. And while I don't think that my wife always appreciates this gesture of affection, she indulges me, because she's cool like that.

  Anyways, in our old bed, being a double, getting into the position of one ankle over hers, and one at the side of the bed to regulate my temperature was a pretty darned comfortable sleeping position. Now, with our step up to the queen sized bed, this position tends to splay me out as if I'm strapped to some sort of medieval torture rack. A position that I don't mind being in on occasion, but it hardly offers any protection to "my boys" should an errant leg or knee come flying at me from across the mattress as my wife rolls over in her sleep. I believe that concern of this happening may be keeping me from getting a good nights sleep.

  And lastly, on the weekends when we get to take a little extra soaking time before we have to get out of bed to get on with our day, sometimes I like to slide over and cuddle up to my wife and let her know just how sexy I still find her. Because this bed is bigger, I have to do this shimmy thing with my feet and ass until the lower half of my body gets all snuggled up to her. Then, because we now have this gap between our pillows, I have to roll my bum shoulder, that is underneath me at this point, forward ahead of my torso, and go all Evil Kenevil and jump my head over the pillow, gap, chasm, onto her pillow to get my cuddle on. Really, this is playing me out!

  But overall, aside from those few things, it's a pretty good bed. Certainly the best bed that we've owned in the time my wife and I have been together. It may be the best bed we've ever shared. At the very least it's tied with an awesome bed we had at a resort we stayed in, in Mexico once. But that bed also had location going for it, so I think this new bed wins.

  So, we were laying in our awesome new bed the other morning, and I was telling my wife about these issues I was having. She thought I was silly and that she had already, completely taken to this new bed without any issues. She also pointed out, that this bed wasn't that much bigger than our old bed and that really, a couple extra inches didn't make any difference at all.

  .........................I said "EXACTLY!"  And thanked her for pointing that out.




This week, I'll be joining up with the other Dudes at Dude Write, with this post. I encourage you to pop over and read what the guys bring to the table. You can get there by clicking on THIS LINK

I'm also linking up with the I Don't like Mondays Blog Hop. Click THIS LINK to read some awesome posts