Saturday, March 30, 2013

#149. or, There be Hipsters Here!

  I had to run into town the other day to get parts to fix my tractor. Parts that didn't actually fix it, which means I have a bigger problem than I had hoped, but that's a different story.

  Whenever I go to town, I try to stop and take a couple minutes to visit my wife at the office she works in. While I was there, one of the topics that we breezed over was our grocery list. I had remembered an item or 2 that needed to be added, and since I was in town anyways, I asked her if she wanted me to pick up the things on her list. She said that it was fine, that she could just swing by and grab the items after work. So it was left at that.

  Now, at some point after that, and before I actually left town, I was stricken with the urge to make margaritas. Probably because it's been rather nice here the last few days and it feels good to have the sun shining down on me. So, despite the fact that there's still a foot of snow on my deck and I can't yet lounge around outside without at least 2 layers of clothing, I've found myself, wanting to make a margarita.

  I don't really drink margaritas. I'm more of a mojito guy, when I get in this mood. But still, when you get margaritas on your brain, you've just got to make margaritas. I made some from scratch a couple weeks back and they weren't all that good, so as I was leaving town, with my tractor parts, but without the grocery list, I made an executive decision and wheeled into the grocery store to pick up margarita mix. The grocery stores in our town have a pretty good selection of items to choose from, but the last thing I expected to find there were hipsters.

  If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that at any given time, our town is predominately made up of cowboys and farmers, retired farmers, people who work in one field of agriculture or another, and a handful of other fine people who make the gears of society run efficiently. But that doesn't mean that we're a town of backward hicks either. We even have our very own goth guy, but now that I think about it, I haven't seen him brooding about since last summer.

  I don't think I  have ever seen hipsters here.

  These weren't just wannabe hipsters who buy their skinny jeans, woolen scarves, and horned rim glasses off the rack at the trendy store either. These were the traditional, granola-y hipsters, with unkempt beards, clothes off of the 2nd hand store rack, wearing homemade jewelry hipsters. Some of them even had hipster dreadlocks.

  The women didn't have unkempt beards. Just the male hipsters. I expect, by the way that they looked, that the women had other unkempt body hair. But that's just an assumption on my part.

  I may be wrong in this, but it's been my understanding that hipsters generally tend to congregate around coastal regions where it's warmer and they can wear hemp sandals and macrame shawls and vests and things. So I'm sure that you can understand just how excited that I was to be able to view these hipsters outside of their natural habitat. Right there in the produce section of the IGA as they fondled the avocados.

  Even though it was hard to contain my excitement, I didn't want to spook this gaggle of  wayward hipsters, so I tried to avoid eye contact as I nonchalantly drifted toward them to catch a bit of their conversation while they discussed whether the tomatoes were truly organic or not.

  I didn't have a lot of items to get at the grocery store. Just the margarita mix. And well, chocolate chip cookies, Because I'm drawn to them like a kid to the end of the mud puddle that's deeper than his rubber boots are tall, so in only a few minutes, my basket was full. I took the long way back to the registers when I got to the end of the isle and spotted a small group of hipster dudes gathered around the meat cooler, poking  fingers of contempt at the packages of steak, and took one last pass by them before I paid, and left the store.

  I don't know why the hipsters interested me so much? I guess it might be because they're a bit of a novelty to find here. Sort of like the ornithologist, finding a pink flamingo in downtown Winnipeg, blown there by some errant jet-stream. I can only imagine various turns of events that sent these hipsters into our town, so far from home, wherever that may be.

  Unless of course, they're a hipster advance party, scouting out the area for an impending hipster invasion in the warmer months to come. I don't really know how you're supposed to prepare for a hipster apocalypse?

   ............Oh also, don't tell my wife about the chocolate chip cookies. We're on a diet in this house and it's my intention to get her liberally lubricated on margaritas and break the news to her gently. I'll let you know how that goes.







38 comments:

  1. I'm sure you weren't the only one eye balling them, if they are such a novelty there. And, I'm fairly certain they were looking at all of you in much the same way, "ah, look, a local farmer speciman"

    Margaritas sound lovely. Although, my favorite part about them is the salt and the lime, so maybe I'm missing the point?

    I hope you have a great Easter!!

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    1. Happy Easter Kianwi!

      If they felt out of place at all, they certainly did a good job of not showing it. :)

      I've taken an interest in trying to mix drinks better. I'm sort of envisioning myself whipping up all sorts of icy concoctions from my deck this summer. :)

      Delete
  2. Hahaha! You sound like I did with the cows last week! Except that I was the one who looked out of place. I wish you could have taken pictures though, that would have been awesome!

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    1. Hi Bee!

      Ack! I always forget to take the pictures until the opportunity has passed. I need to get a lot better at that. You're probably all sick of seeing pictures of cows! :)

      Delete
  3. OMG this is so funny. If you know who wasn't in the shower she would've asking why I was laughing so hard.

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    1. Thanks Kait.

      Hopefully she didn't forget to use the raspberry shampoo? :)

      Delete
  4. Sooo funny, and so true to human nature... we are curious about anyone or anything that is unusual or appears out of place. You write so creatively that you had me chuckling about the appearance of this motley bunch too, so I hesitate to mention that I just might have, at one point in my life, been one of them. :-) Wishing you warmer weather ahead, and much luck in explaining that slight dietary lapse to your wife. I cannot pass up a chocolate chip cookie.. or two.. or six... or ten, so I fully understand!

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    1. Hey Josie!

      It's funny, when you live in a smaller town, and watch for it, you get to see when the new trend or fad that everyone's been talking about for quite some time, finally shows up in your town.

      We have all gone through parts in our lives that we hesitate to mention. :)

      I try to avoid the bakery section in the grocery store, but I always get sucked in. Because I'm weak like that. :)

      Delete
  5. I was sure I could hear The Croc Hunter quietly narrating as he sneaks up on a previously undiscovered animal species. -- TheOtherK

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    1. Crickey!

      Rest assured, I wasn't putting bits of their poop into my pocket to take home and examine later! ;)

      Delete
  6. Hello my curious friend!

    "stricken with the urge to make margaritas"

    I shall forever henceforth use this phrase.

    This post is great! I could picture you stealthily slinking closer and closer to the hipsters out of their natural habitat. You stopping occasionally to appear to intently study the limes and whistle 'Lionel Richie' (just made that up because what other hokey music is pumped over grocery speakers?) as you draw closer to your subjects.

    I take for granted the more mixed lot of society where I reside, although we are 'heavy' on what some folks refer to as 'rednecks'. I am sure when suburbanites traveling through must stop off and subject themselves to the local Walmart, they behave quite like you in their inquisitiveness.

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    1. Hello, my Friend!

      You're free to use it whenever you want. As long as I cross your mind at some point while you sip a few with friends. :)

      Lionel Richie made me laugh just now.......Hello, is it me you're looking for?

      We have our fair share of rednecks too. Or, "Duck tape enabled". Because I'm not exposed to it, living in town, or a bigger city, people who dress or do themselves up differently always seem to catch my attention.

      I try my best not to judge, and as long as you are good people and treat others with respect, however you want to dress is fine with me.

      Delete
  7. Nothing goes better with alcohol then food that is bad for you. Nothing. Well, except maybe making bad decisions.

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    1. Hey Holly,

      I think that I would have to agree with you. Sometimes the 3 even blur together. Like when I make my spicy Caesars. Booze, pickled vegetables, and always the reminder that you used too much Tobasco, the next morning.

      Delete
  8. I know this goes against stereotypes, but the only hipster chick with dreads that I know of gets a full Brazilian. And don't worry, she told me that. It's not like I learned it first-hand.

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    1. Hi Debra, I though you were on holidays?

      However you gleaned this bit of information, they always say, consider it a good day if you learn something new.

      But you know, next time I see someone who matches the description on the top, I'm going to wonder about the bottom.

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  9. I once made margaritas from the snow in my backyard. They tasted great but the next day when I went to clean the glasses there was black gunk in them. That snow isn't as clean as it looks.

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    1. Stephen! Good to see you back!

      As someone who is somewhat an expert on the field of snow, (and the owner of 4 dogs!) NEVER use snow in anything you want to put into your mouth!

      Delete
  10. A potential hipster invasion, well that sounds ominous! Before you know it you're shops will be overflowing with fair trade beaded phone cases and posters with ironic quotes on them.

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    1. Hi Kellie,

      I think I should be safe. I use a Blackberry. Nobody makes cases for those. :)

      Delete
  11. Ken, you have the most interesting, honest, entertaining posts! I love that you are a regular guy, hardworking & intelligent. Thank you for a sharing your views with us!

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    1. McGuffy Ann!

      Thank you so much! I just try to tell a good story. That other people find them interesting is such a bonus.

      Delete
  12. Great Post. I was thinking about Margueritas today. It must be the good weather. THere be hipsters here as well. Z~

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    1. Hi Zoe, and thanks for the follow!

      It has to be the weather? You have them as well? Interesting. :)

      Delete
  13. I love the meandering but purposeful direction of your posts, always so pleasant to read, not to mention funny. If you are ever stricken with the urge to make the perfect margarita, spring for some Grand Marnier in place of the triple sec, then: two parts tequila, one part GM, one part fresh lime juice, and a little bit of agave nectar for those who don't like their margaritas as limey. Just stay away from packaged lime juice and so-called margarita salt, because the former will ruin your drink and the latter will kill you!

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    1. Thank you Louise, that means a lot to me!

      The perfect margarita, you say? How on earth am I going to be able to resist that kind of temptation? Looks like I'm going to have to go do a little shopping. Maybe I'll see hipsters? :)

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  14. I think it is a sign of future hipsters. My little dinky town had one punk in the 80's. She was the first person I ever knew who had an unnatural color for her hair and piercings in places other than her ears.

    A decade later, they were everywhere. We still blame her.

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    1. Hi Brett,

      Can I blame her for ours as well?

      Delete
  15. I love how you described this encounter. It's basically just seeing some hipster kids at the store but you made it SO entertaining. From the unkempt body hair (ew) to the fondling of the avocados.
    Another great post!

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    1. Hi VV,

      Sshhhh! I'm secretly trying to convince everybody that my boring mundane life is full of adventure and excitement. Don't spill the beans. :)

      Thank you, either way! :)

      Delete
  16. A hipster advance party - I love that concept.

    Margaritas were always my favorite...

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    1. Hi Michelle,

      There's a margarita recipe a few comments above that sounds pretty darned interesting. I think I'm going to be trying that one.

      Delete
  17. You probably should have taken them out and helped your town. If the hipster scouts don't report back, the main contingent usually assumes the worst that the town turned the scouts normal, and moves on.

    And on the plus side you could have taken their sandals, which I must say, are dreadfully comfortable especially on the beach.

    Not that I would know anything about that at all being as far from hipster as you could possible get.

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    1. Hi Heather!

      So, if I'm going to take the hipsters out, do I have to kill them, or can they be successfully assimilated back into society? (without their sandals)

      OR....can they be ingrained with a virus of normality and sent back to wherever they came from to become the seeds of destruction for the entire hipster generation?

      So many questions, so little time!

      Delete
  18. HAHAHA! "...poking fingers of contempt at the packages of steak..." This is so hilarious Ken. You know, I was in the grocery store the other day and thought about you and your wife, because I spotted some mango margarita salt and I remembered you were on the lookout for margarita salt. I fear if you had mango margarita salt in your area, the hipster invasion may be closer than you think. Hemp sandals actually sound pretty smart. Footwear you can smoke when you're done wearing 'em. Here's how you prepare for the impending invasion: just make sure you've got plenty of blue corn tortilla chips and mango salsa on hand (again with the mango), order yourself some hipster threads online from Urban Outfitters and have a Black Keys CD in your truck at all times. You should be ready for anything. LOL

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    1. Hi Linda,

      Actually, when we were in the city a while back, we found some margarita rimmer. It isn't mango, but it will have to do for now.

      Um, I'm not so sure I would want to smoke anything that had spent all day on my feet? But, you've given me an even better idea......hemp halter tops! What do you think? :)

      Perhaps I should put together some sort of emergency kit, just in case I need to blend in for a bit?

      Delete
  19. I love that your town has *a* goth guy!

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    1. Ya, he wanders our streets alone, being quietly ridiculed by the old people.


      .......older than me.

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