So how do you get in on this contest? Do you have to donate a kidney? Do you have to subject yourself to excruciating pain like the unfortunate zipping incident that I don't really want to talk about? No, all that's required is to answer a question. One answer is one entry. Each week there's a new question and each answer is a another time your name goes into the pot. Simple as that.
This weeks question is:
Have you had a funny or embarrassing moment happen where you thought to yourself, "If only someone caught that on camera, I'd win the $10 000 prize"? What is your cash prize-worthy moment?
I have notoriously sleepy eyes. Also a bad haircut, but for this story, I only want to focus on the sleepy eyes.
Ever since I was a kid, I've been conscious of the fact that, more often than not, photos of me look like I've been on a 3 day bender. OK, not like since forever. When I was really little everything was fine.
And even in about grade 4, things were still pretty good. In fact, I think that's also about the same time I peaked at my maximum cuteness. It's been all downhill from there.
In grade 5, I knew that in photo's, my eye's were looking sleepy. I practiced in the mirror with various expressions so I didn't look like I was about to fall asleep. In fact, I still do that just in case I find myself in a photo op. I new what I had to do to give my best 1970's, Vinnie Bobberino look, in my polyester shirt. Except when it came time to put all my practice into play, I blew right past Vinnie Bobberino, right into Marty Feldman.
If you're in grade 5, that's a pretty tough picture to live down. When you're 44 years old, that's a pretty tough picture to live down. I had to dig it out of the back of the closet and blow the dust off it just to scan it. But of course now, it's all over the internet for the rest of my fricken life just in case somebody decides to google an image of me.
For the last 35 years or so, at least there was a small piece of happiness inside of me knowing that there were 20 some other kids in that class who could dig out that picture on cold winter nights, huddled by the fire, keeping warm, laughing at the picture of the fool with the googly eyes. Maybe you can do that too.