Thursday, May 10, 2012

#85. or, do i have something in my eye?

  Sometimes, over the course of doing what i do, things get broken. Often when that happens, it requires a simple fix like welding one broken piece back to another. Occasionally, i have to do some grinding with an electric grinder to make pieces fit together better to be welded, or maybe, it requires a bit of grinding the clean up the weld a little before it can be painted again. When you do any grinding, you should ALWAYS wear safety glasses!

  I've had bits of metal in my eye from a grinder on two occasions where i needed to go to the hospital to have it removed.

  The first time, I though that if i would just tough it out, it would eventually work it's way out on it's own. Metal on your eyeball doesn't work it's way out on it's own. Because it came off the grinder as a red hot spark, it sort of sears itself onto the surface of your eye. Then it starts to rust. By the time i finally decided that i required medical  attention to fix this, it was a bit of a mess. (actually, it was my wife who said, "get your ass to the hospital before you go blind!") The first thing that the doctor does, is give you a tube of sticky, gooey, stuff. Because i don't know the medical term for it, i'm going to call it opti-gook. You're supposed to squeeze the opti-gook into your eye and let it grab a hold of the foreign object. It doesn't really work, or it has never worked for me. It's sort of like pouring honey into your eye, and trying to blink. I would use the opti-gook overnight, then go to the hospital where the doctor would try to scrape the metal off of my eye. I did that for about three days before a nurse took me aside and told me to request a specialist before that quack ruined my eyeball. (which was rather nice of her) The specialist got it out but i have a permanent smudge on my pupil from that one.

  The second time i knew right away i needed to see the doctor when my wife couldn't scrape it off with a pin. Because it was quite short notice, the only doctor on call that day was about 115 years old. They put drops into my eye that freeze the surface. They don't really like to do that though because apparently, when your eyeball is frozen, you could repeatedly stab yourself in it with a pencil or some other blunt object without ever realizing it. Anyways, after it's frozen, they use a tiny spoon affair to scrape the metal off your eye. It's required of you, throughout this procedure, to keep your eye wide open. This gets to be a little freaky when your 115 year old doctor is bearing down on your eyeball with a spoon in his hand that's shaking like a crack addict in rehab. In the end, he got it out and i still have all of my eyeball to boot.

  Now, the reason i'm giving you all this background information, is because yesterday, i had an appointment  scheduled for me to get an MRI on my shoulder. I've been having some trouble with it and they think it's the next step in the process. What's that got to do with eyeballs? Well, to have a MRI, you need to pass a checklist of not having any foreign metal in your body. I was going through the list just fine until  they asked if i had ever had any metal in my eyes. Apparently, the MRI machine will suck any metal you may have left, right out of your eyeball! Which might seem like a good thing but rather unpleasant at the same time.

  Now, i have to get something called an orbital X-ray of my head before i'm cleared for the MRI. I'm hoping that i pass that test because it was the only thing that i failed on the checklist and even though i didn't study, it would be nice to get 100%. If i don't, i wonder if i have to wear lead goggles or something resistant to magnetism. Just in case, i think i'm going to do some squinting exercises to make sure i have the strength to keep my eyeball in my head on the off chance they miss something.

 ..............i think i might be OK though, i just tried to stick a fridge magnet to my eyeball and nothing happened. I probably don't have anything to worry about.

26 comments:

  1. Holy Monkey Butts!! I don't even wear make up because I can't stand anything near my eye! I think I'd rather just go with a snazzy pirate eye patch instead of going through eyeball scrapings! Argh! You poor man!!

    I certainly hope you don't have anything else in your eye! And judging from your fridge magnet experiment I'm sure you have nothing to worry about...you did use one of those super magnets, right?

    Feel better!

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    1. It was just a run of the mill fridge magnet, I have one of those rare earth magnets in the shop, maybe i'll try that out later.

      Do you think i could wear a pirate eye patch and a kilt at the same time? :)

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    2. Throw in a machete and you've reached the trifecta of coolness and awesomeness!

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  2. This is cool. I love medical stuff - in House MD they're always sucking out metal items from patients' bodies with MRI machines. Doesn't look too comfy.

    I had an MRI pretty recently and it was very interesting - however, they never even asked me if I had any metal in my body... very strange.

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    1. Maybe i just look like the type of fellow that has been put back together with nuts and bolts?

      I'm a little excited about having it done. I'm just glad i don't have anything private pierced, that i would have had to mention to them.

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    2. I was a professional piercer and we had people come in all the time upset because the doctors told them they had to take their private piercing out.

      The holes don't generally stay open without jewelry in them.

      I used flexible medical grade PVC material to fashion new jewelry and replaced their metal. The doctor's didn't usually like it, but they no longer had a medical reason to require them to remove it.

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    3. Brett, I would have expected no less from you lol

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  3. I am trying to visualize the ancient doctor attempting to scrape a bit of metal out of your eye... the word that comes to mind is terror! I've never heard of the metal issue with MRI's either. So what happens with all the fillings in teeth, or worse yet metal implants in knee joints? Keep us updated on how this turns out! Seriously, hope you get some answers for your shoulder and they can do something to help. In your line of work, shoulders come in mighty handy!

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    1. It's been bothering me for the better part of a year now. I've been able to work around it for the most part, it just gets aggravated this time of year because tractors are set up to do mostly everything with that arm.

      You would be surprised how hard it is to keep your eye open during something like that.

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  4. Wow, Ken, love the visual of the ancient doc with the shaky spoon getting ready to dig into your eyeball. :-o Scary!

    My husband has always been prone to getting stuff in his eyes and having to get it removed. I'm amazed his vision is as good as it is, considering how many times his eyeballs have been tortured. Whenever he gets a new eye injury, I usually use the same sweet, gentle approach your wife does. LOL

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    1. more often than not, she's the voice of reason in matters like these. Unless i'm bleeding, then she's trying not to pass out in the corner.

      I had pretty much expected what they were going to do, I just wasn't prepared for old shaky to be the one in control of the tools. :)

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  5. Holy crap! First, ouch! Then second, jeez, sorry! Third, uh I hope you're ok! Fourth, maybe you shouldn't be doing the kettle ball with a bad shoulder!

    Man you might be part cyborg.

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    1. It still works. It just doesn't like certain angles, so I try to avoid those. I've been trying to keep my strength up in it plus I'm trying Brett's shoulder stretches as well.
      They haven't got me in glasses yet, so I guess I'm alright so far? :)

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  6. I cringe at the thought of metal being pulled out of my eye via magnetism! Ouch! Let's hope that don't happen!

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    1. I think that i'm going to be alright. I guess we'll find out after i get this X-Ray thing. I agree, it doesn't sound like the most pleasant thing.

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  7. That would suck to have your eyeballs fly out, but it sounds like they should use the MRI machine when you first come in with the injury. It would take the metal right out.

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    1. As I was checking my eyeball with the fridge magnet, I was thinking, "good heavens, a strong enough magnet would have been able to eliminate this problem in the first place!" Then I promptly started to dream up a grand electro-magnet that I could plug into rhe wall outlet.

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    2. It wouldn't suck Ken's eyeballs out though - it would suck the metal bits out - making them tear through if they were impacted.

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  8. You crack me up. It took me a bit to get through this post though, because just the THOUGHT of something in my eye, or someone scraping my eyeball.....AAAAACK!! My eyes, my EYES!!! They watered in sympathy the whole time I read. You know the glaucoma test where they puff air into your eyeball?!? Kills me every time. I CAN'T DO IT!!!

    I hope your eye is okay!!!

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    1. I've never had that puff of air test. I think it would be horrible!
      My eye feels ok. I'm pretty sure it is.

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  9. Nothing like taking a magnet to your eyeball in the name of science!

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    1. As long as it's in the name of science, what could possibly go wrong?

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  10. That eyeball thing? With the searing? And the rusting? Aaaaaaah! (I may have bounced up and down in my seat and screeched and made a face when I read that. I have deep-seated eye issues...I've always been afraid of popping one with a rusty nail.) I hope you're ok!

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    1. Sorry, it wasn't my plan to gross anyone out too terrible here. I'm pretty sure i'll be fine. The X-Ray should confirm that. What are you doing with rusty nails?

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  11. NOT eyeballs! Cut off a limb. Bleed all over the place. Just for the love of God don't mention eyeballs and eyeball issues. Ahhhhhhh.

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    1. My eyeballs are fine, except the eyeball with the smudge. The other eyeball if fine, eyeball, eyeball, eyeball. :)

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