Thursday, October 11, 2012

#119. or, You have to move (updated)

  I've been trying to be healthier about the things I do. I wish I made better choices but the honest truth is that I've been having a bit of a difficult time trying to focus on, and commit to the things that I need to do, to actually see a change.

  It's not that I don't really give a shit or anything. I do! I want to look better, I want to get into some sort of routine that I can maintain and just be healthy. I want to look good in clothes. I want to stand naked in front of the mirror and not have to suck in any belly or sigh inside because I'm disappointed in what I see. The only way that's going to happen though is if I start to move.



  It's week 6 of The Pish Posh 8 Week Challenge and for the last 3 at least, I've been afraid to even stet foot on a scale. When I started this, I thought that I could make a difference by just changing the way I eat. It's a start, I know that it's a big step toward being healthier, but even that has been hard to keep up with.

  You know what else sucks? Every fitness related thing that you can join up for in town begins in October. Which I understand, but for me, I can't even begin to think about taking part in anything like that until the middle of November at the earliest.

  Sitting in the cab of a combine for 12 hours or more over the course of a day doesn't help. It's been raining in October, but I've spent the days that I can't combine, fixing stuff and trying to prepare things for winter. I think it's safe to say that I'm experiencing a bit of stress as the clock ticks away until freeze up and the list that's already as long as my arm with jobs to do before that happens,  seems to grow each day.

 So I eat cookies. And sugary crap because it makes me feel better. For a bit. Then I feel like shit because it's....well, sugary crap. That and beer.

  It's to the point where my back is sore and I'm living off Advils for the last three days because I've got this nagging headache. And when I get off the couch, or climb over the front of a pick-up to work on an engine (which I've been doing for last couple days) I make this annoying grunting noise. SHIT!

  YOU. HAVE. TO. MOVE!

  I've been reading the posts of others who've been taking part in this challenge. We all have slightly different goals we're trying to achieve in being here. Whether it's  getting fit, doing more writing, or making better life choices because if we don't, well.....you could die! But the thing is, all of the people involved who are doing well at the challenge are making a difference in their lives because they decided to start moving.

  I'm going to do something. Anything. Just move. And not be afraid if I go to the track and all I can do is walk. Not be afraid to get on the scale. Not be afraid to stand in front of the mirror and actually exhale. Because I know, while moving is only the beginning, it's a start. And that start is what is going to make me feel better. Better in that, I won't need those damned sugary cookies to boost my mood. Better in that, I'll be making the difference that my body has been asking me to make every time it complains when I try to drag it off the fricken couch because I'm too sore and exhausted to move.

  So, there it is. TODAY I WILL MOVE. Tomorrow, October 12th, I'll update this post, and tell you what I did. Whatever it is. Hold me accountable, take me to town. I'm not afraid.

  October 12th post update:

   So I went to the track last night after supper. Passed up on reading blogs and headed to town at 8:00 PM. I had intended to be there for an hour, but I only did 45 minutes. Now, according to the giant painted sign on the wall, 5 laps is a kilometer. 8 is a mile. I did somewhere between 25 and 30 laps. I was going to stop at the 5km mark, but I'm pretty sure that I miscounted a couple so I threw in a few extra for good measure.

  Besides being a little stiff in the hips and legs, I feel pretty good. A little tired maybe. I had intended to roll out of bed when my wife got up to shower and do some stretches, but I fell back to sleep until she returned. By then it was time to get things rolling, so I'll try to add that to my mornings in the next day or so.

  I will try to keep this up on some of the evenings that I'm not out in the tractor, until it freezes up and I can set up a weekly routine of going to the track. I've been taking with my wife about zumba. (which is already going.) Everybody she asks says that it's almost always, only women there so I'm a bit apprehensive about showing up there and sweating all over the place. I guess we'll see?

...........OH, also, because this post ended up being way more negative than I had intended, I need to give you something happier to leave you with. The puppies have opened their eyes! That and their doing this awesome little puppy waddle walk. It's awesome!  :)

25 comments:

  1. That track is definitely the way to go when one can't schedule in any of the local fitness things. I've found that I'll go back and forth between the track and the outdoor rink once the ice is on. And don't get discouraged! CBC once reported on a study about changing personal habits (i.e. quitting smoking) and discussed that people were more inclined to quit because of disparaging feelings they had when they regressed, as opposed to just dealing with the regression as part of the process and moving on. Shit happens, but as long as you don't give up and don't let the slip-ups bug you, you'll proceed (and succeed...though I like "proceed" better because it sounds less cheesy). Kyla

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    1. That's for stopping by Kyla.

      I'm going to try the track. I like going there in the winter. I should try the skating but it always looks so busy with hockey. I'll pay more attention to that.

      You have a point about the bad feelings associated with a lack of success. It should be enough that you're doing something. I always feel better when I am. I just need to begin being active to go with the healthier choices at diet I've been trying to make. Each step helps make the other a little easier.

      I like proceed better as well, thanks. :)

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  2. Although I am really out of shape and should be moving myself, my focus for the challenge is mental health. Because, you know....I'm mental!

    It's affecting my writing or even my desire to write. I don't want to keep posting negative crap but that's what seems to come out when I start typing. I've basically given up on cartoons, which everybody seemed to love so much.

    Need positive vibes, need good things to happen!

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    1. We're all a little bit mental, Dan. :)

      I tend to swing from negative to positive when what I'd really like to be is somewhere happily in the middle.

      I know that the negative is easier, and it takes a lot of work to try to remain positive at times. It's worth the effort though. I'm confident that you can make it work for you.

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  3. I like your "just move" outlook, almost as much as I like you holding yourself accountable. We are here cheering you on, Ken! And I don't condone violence but yes, I'll beat you up if you don't have an update for us tomorrow. :)

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    1. Thank you Peach!

      Actually, having read your link-up post, that last sentence frightens me more than you think. ;)

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  4. Like the 80's hit Susan Powders says - You Gotta Move, You Gotta Eat, You Gotta Breathe.

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    1. Now there's a name that I haven't heard in a while. Going to have to google her to refresh my memory, I think.

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  5. Go for it! Far be it from me to give dieting advice, but here's some: make crunchy veggies your friend instead of those cookies. They'll kill ya, man.

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    1. Death by cookie?
      .....but what a way to go!

      I'm going to try get back to a salad at lunch pretty soon.

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  6. I love your honesty and introspection Ken, calling yourself up short and realizing that change happens only if we are determined to make it happen. It just isn't easy, as you've pointed out well here. There will always be reasons not to, maybe we set our goals higher than are realistic, maybe everything in life gets in the way. I think your determination to MOVE is awesome, that's a step in the right direction and one you can stick to. We're cheering for you, get up and go! (And maybe it will motivate me to do the same :-) Post some new pup pics when you get time, we love the "awww factor"! :-)

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    1. Hi Josie.
      I've gone one time as of this morning. As long as I can keep it up now, things should begin to get easier. I hope.

      It might be time for more puppy pictures I think? :)

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  7. You could build yourself a racquetball court out behind the grain bins.

    Even if you never use it, building it would give you some exercise. ;)

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    1. As funny as that sounds, I know of a farmer in the area that built a badminton court. Put up a special building for it and everything. Now that's dedication.

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  8. Good one, Ken! It's so difficult to be worrying about your harvest when the weather is thwarting you, but at least excercise also helps relieve stress! I hope you can find the time and the means to get moving. Not because you "should" but because it's something that you really want to do.

    I think you should get a Tae Bo dvd and work out with Billy and me :)

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    1. Hi Kianwi.

      You know, for the time I was at the track last night, that's the only thing that was on my mind. A pleasant side effect, I'm thinking?

      I should dig around a bit. I'm quite certain that my wife has a Billy Blanks DVD laying around somewhere. :)

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  9. You have made the first step Ken, you have decided to do something, anything, just move, that is the first step no matter how minor, at least you are going the right direction.

    I bet the pups with their eyes open are looking good, is any one of them sticking out yet as a possible choice to keep?

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    1. Thank you Jimmy,

      As far as the pups go, my favorite right now is whichever one I grab when I reach into the dog house to pick one out. They're all pretty equal right now.

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  10. I applaud your effort to live a healthier lifestyle. I'm a fallen soldier in that war.

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    1. It's never too late to start again? :)

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  11. Awww you're such a sweet guy and I appreciate your honesty. I know that feeling of just wanting to look in the mirror and not feel icky. And I know the feeling of not wanting to go to the gym because you don't have time or can't really get into working hard. I fight that too. But believe me, walking is better than nothing. Because you feel proud of yourself and like you did one darn thing.

    But just stay afloat. What's the worst that can happen? You start your fitness in November? That's okay. Just kind of try to start getting mentally ready now and doing one thing each day if possible.

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    1. Thanks Pish.

      I went last night and I feel pretty good. Better than I though I would. I do things. I've been crawling over and under and all about this truck I'm working on in the shop. It's actually a bit of an effort to say hey, lets knock off and go get some exercise, but I know the reward will be worth it. At least I'm moving.

      I'm confident November will be a better one for me in the exercise department. :)

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  12. Do they make combines with pedals instead of a motor? I'll bet you would take off some pounds if you had to power it. Just a thought.

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    1. 12 hours on an exercise bike, combine would give me the thighs of an Olympic, Russian speed skater. I'd have to get some stretchy pants just to contain them!

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  13. I can totally relate. For the past few weeks my diet has gone out the window (not because I'm busy like you) but because I'm just so disappointed with how slow my progress is. I feel like I'm stuck in this holding pattern until the end of October (when the doc sees me again). I'm frustrated. But you are so right. I need to get moving again. I need to take care of myself because no one else is going to!

    Your walking has inspired me. Thanks Ken! And good job on getting out there! :)

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