Saturday, November 10, 2012

#127. or, The CFR

  My wife and I went to the Canadian Finals Rodeo on Thursday. It's not something that we go to every year. Although there was a time, it was an event that we marked on our calendar and made a point of going to see.

  In fact, the last 3 times that we've gone, it's been as guests of the bank or, my John Deere dealership. Thursday, we were invited to a whole supper, with complimentary drinks and then attended the rodeo slightly buzzed on extra spicy Caesars. And then during the performance, our sections in the stadium were mentioned and it did, in fact, feel a little bit good to be part of that group.

   I know if you do the math and add up all of the money that was spent at these places, I paid for the tickets to these things many times over, but it's not really about that. I appreciate the gesture. Tractor dealerships are  pretty big these days and the same name can be found in a lot of towns, covering a fair chunk of the Province.  While we were at supper, I looked about and estimated there to be between 250-300 guests. Some of those were John Deere employees and the number of farmers that I recognized as my neighbours, was really quite small. I know that our area has many, many more farmers than I saw there, so I was pretty happy to be on the list. I'm certainly not going to be like the idiot who decided it was a good idea to wear his Case tractor hat to the John Deere function. It's going to be a while before he gets invited back. I wore my John Deere jacket, that cost me 3 tractors to get.

  I own a cowboy hat, and I own cowboy boots. I wore neither to this event. Partly because of the weather. We are coming off the grip of a winter storm here and the driving is frankly, THE SHITS! I chose footwear, that if I had too, I could walk, or keep from getting the black foot, and loosing my toes if I had to dig my wife's car out of the ditch. Cowboy boots have relatively no grip on them whatsoever, and while it probably would have increased my awesome quotient to actually show up at the Canadian Finals Rodeo in cowboy boots, doing the arms flailing, legs going in all directions windmill, as I eventually land on my ass on the ice, played a big part in my decision.

  Also, I'm not really a cowboy. I'm a farmer. Cowboys and farmers have a bit of difference in my mind. We try to achieve an end, that falls in the same general area but I think we get to that point by different means. I always picture a cowboy sitting out on a hill somewhere, on top of a horse, rolling a smoke from tobacco out of a leather pouch while he surveys his herd of cattle. I don't really like horses all that much. They scare me a bit. I check my cows with an ATV or preferably, the pick-up truck. Cowboys are rugged and tough and get a thrill out of leaping off the back of a horse at full gallop and wrestling a calf to the ground by hand, or catching it on the end of a rope in a combination of riding skill and hand-eye coordination that I can't quite achieve. I get queasy trying to play my kids video game. The only success that I've ever had with a rope is by herding the calf that I want into sequentially smaller and smaller pens, until the area that the calf and I are in are so small, that I can actually put the rope over the head of the calf, because he has no other option, as we're only 8 inches apart. Of course, I then throw the calf down in a flourish that would, in my mind at least, rival any champion cowboy.

  I also don't really have a cowboy name. I think that I might have an accountant's name. Or maybe the name of a toll booth operator. If you're going to be a rodeo participant, as a rule, you have a bitchn' awesome name. Here's a few out of the program from Thursday night line-up. Ty, there's a few Ty's in the rodeo. Or Tanner and Garret. One fellow was named Steele. I imagine if you're named Steele, you shave with a wood rasp. I saw a Zane, and a few Dusty's and a barrel racer name Trula. There was a fellow named Trygve. Trygve? If  your mom and dad call you Trygve, you wear cowboy boots even if it is 20 below zero, and if you slip on the ice and someone snickers, you just east them. Bones and all.

  The name that caught my attention though, was K's. I've been thinking of the wonderful foresight in giving your kid a name with a built in apostrophe "s" on the end. It lets you lay claim to anything that you put after it.  Like K's straight razor, or K's leather wrapped toe-nail clipper. Although, I would imagine a cowboy named K's probably doesn't own a toe-nail clipper. He most likely just has a pack of rabid wolves, chew them from his toes.

  ...........I sort of wish that my parents had though to add an apostrophe "s" to the back of my name. As in Ken's comfortable footwear, or Ken's recliner. Or, considering the weather, Ken's battery operated socks.


I am submitting this post to Dude write this week. It's where guy bloggers come together to submit posts, that get voted on from Sunday to Tuesday evening to see whose was most popular. I encourage you to pop over and take a look at them and maybe come back and vote on your favourites. 
You can get there by clicking on THIS LINK





29 comments:

  1. Ha ha, toll booth operator! I didn't realize they were generally apt to be named Ken!

    As far as the cowboy boots, you gotta think like a girl on this one. If I want to wear sexy, high heeled shoes somewhere, but it's the stinkin' middle of the winter and I am worried about snow, then I wear snow boots, and bring the pretty shoes with me. Then, when I get where I'm going, I just change my shoes in the parking lot. Feel free to consult me for any further fashion advice :)

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    1. Whenever I need advice on my sexy pretty shoes, you're the one I'm calling! :)

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  2. Great post Ken! I don't know if there are a lot of toll both operators named Ken - but I know of at least one that is an awesome writer.

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    1. I'd like to meet that guy, he sounds like a pretty cool fellow? :)

      Thanks Kevin.

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  3. Cowboy/farmer...you're just one of those rugged guys that make me wish I'd been made of sterner stuff. That's supposed to be a compliment.

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    1. Thank you Stephen,

      If that's how you meant it, then that's how I'll take it. Secretly though, I wish my stuff was a little sterner too. :)

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  4. I have never been to a rodeo. Although I have been to my share of state fairs and something called donkey ball. Which is baseball, with donkeys. Really livens up the game that does.

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    1. How do they get donkey's to hold the bat?

      Actually, I remember a group came to town once when I was a kid and played donkey baseball. I didn't get to go but I remember the poster. I thought that it looked rather challenging?

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  5. Ken's, my friend...
    Wait, that's odd...:)

    So you had me at cowboy hat and boots. You see, this girl grew up in Texas. I grew up attending rodeos. I have a thing for boots and hats. Yes indeed! I have my own pair (don't have a hat anymore...) and will be wearing them out this evening.

    Love this post! Interesting thought to compare farmers and cowboys!

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    1. Hello, my friend! (ya, I'm your friend.)

      I have a really nice cowboy hat. I steam shaped it to the style I wanted and fit it perfectly to my head. I always used to wear it to functions and rodeos. Dug it out of the back of the top closet shelf and tried it on in front of the mirror and considered wearing it for a bit. In the end, I went with no hat at all.

      Although, I did come home with a straw cowboy hat. They were giving them out at the rodeo dance that we popped into for a few moments before we left for home. I think it might make a nice beach hat? Or it might also make me look like an 20 year old collage girl on spring break? I haven't made up my mind on that one just yet. :)

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    2. Dang it, I was also going to say that I saw what you did there with the apostrophe "s" thing. It made me smile. :)

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  6. Ken... farmer, cowboy, or toll booth operator... you're a good man in my book, and happy to 'know' you. Fun read as always.

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    1. Thank you Michael,

      I feel the same way about you. The good man part, not the toll booth operator part.

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  7. Awesome post, Ken! Very funny and well-written.

    I had a girlfriend once named Big Bad Butch who wore cowboy boots 24/7, 365 days a year. And you're right -- those leather soles are as smooth as a baby's ass and have no traction whatsoever. But she refused to wear any kind of "nerd shoe," as she contemptuously called all other footwear.

    I hope you and your wife enjoyed yourselves in our fine city, despite the crappy weather and roads.

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    1. Thanks so much Debra,

      I suspect that there's not much arguing with a girl named Big Bad Butch?

      Because the weather was so bad, some of my neighbours that had driven in spent the night in the city. Unfortunately, we had to get young son off to school in the morning and my wife had to go to work as well. Otherwise, we certainly would have let our hair down. But we had fun none the less. :)

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  8. I grew up in the land of farmers and am living in the land of cowboys and ranchers now... yup, cut from different cloth, but both have a deep and abiding love of the land and the critters that it sustains. There's a lot to be said for names. Maybe Ken isn't the tough-sounding label for a rodeo dude, but the ones I've known as friends have been mighty good guys, I think it fits you well! I want to see a video of you doing that that windmill ice dance, having done it many times myself! :-)

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    1. Thank you Josie, I couldn't imagine having a different name at my age now. Plus this whole, -inatractor addition has given me bit of a new outlook. :)

      Thankfully, there is no video, that I'm aware of, of me doing that particular dance. If there was, you guys would probably have seen it by now. :)

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  9. "I ain't no Cowboy I just found that hat" I wear a straw hat simply to keep the sun out of my eyes and off my neck, I'm too old to wear my ball cap backwards and look cool.

    Yes it would be cool to have an 's at the end of your name just imagine hearing "Ken's slipping on the ice again in those cowboy boots" but wait that's one we don't want to hear..Right?

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    1. That's certainly one that we don't want to hear! Actually, I'm probably more happy than I should be whenever I can get from point A, to point B, without inadvertently drawing attention to myself!

      Ya, I've got quite the collection of ball caps. I think they're the bane of my wife's existence. But there was a time that I did in fact wear my hat backwards for a summer. However, I was never cool enough to work that like a runway model.

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  10. Ken, Ken, Ken. It certainly does bring to mind an accountant. Or an architect. Or a sexually ambiguous 12-inch fashion doll. But not a farmer. No.
    (Really enjoyed reading a farmer's blog, btw! Something new and - I live in Ohio - something to which I totally could relate.)

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    1. Hi Dawn, thanks for stopping by!

      Sexually ambiguous 12 inch fashion doll? That brings up so many wonderful memories of my youth, of time spent in therapy. Thanks for that. ;)

      I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my farmer blog. I hope that I can continue to make you smile in the future. :)

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  11. Carrie is right! I am impressed. So I am following you now! It is a little chaotic right now, being on the road with my trucker husband, but I'm following!

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    1. Thanks so much for the follow Ann! :)

      I can understand completely the chaotic lifestyle, up in the cab. When I was younger, I spent some time myself behind the wheel of one of those trucks.

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  12. Isn't Ken the name of a Barbie Doll?

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    1. Unfortunately it is. A doll, without any genitalia......sigh.

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  13. Battery-operated socks? Genius. My name get me special attention at airports because its one of the most common names in North America. Either that or I'm a spy.

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    1. Sometimes I think it would be cool to have a name that is the same as a famous person. Especially one as infamous as the who you share yours with.

      If I were you, when people asked me my name, I'd be saying it in a James Bondy manner, for sure!

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  14. I think of a cowboy when I think of you, Ken. More of a cowboy that rides a tractor instead of a horse.

    What I'm trying to say is that I think that you are pretty badass.

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    1. Wow! Thanks so much!

      I think that I might be a bit too laid back to be a badass though.

      .....now excuse me, while I go open a beer with my teeth.

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