Tuesday, April 17, 2012

#75. or, hamburger helper

  I'm not a very good cook.

   That's not exactly true. I can cook certain things well. I'm pretty good when it comes to using our barbecue. I've cured bacon and hams and smoked them, and i've made sausage and smoked that as well.  When we go camping, i can make eggs, over easy, on an open fire. That requires a little bit of skill, doesn't it? Oh, I do this thing where i make small pancakes, an over easy egg, then a sausage patty with melted cheese on it and put it all together to make this sandwichy thing for breakfast when we're camping. It's pretty good.

  It's a busy time of year for us here. Being tax season, my wife is pulling some pretty long hours in the accountants office these days. And my hours are all over the place with calving going on. But i like to help out, if i can work it in, to try and have something going for supper when my wife finally gets home. Nothing grand mind you, it doesn't really work so well this time of year. If it's going to be after supper when she gets home, i try to get at least our youngest kid fed. The others are old enough to look out for themselves. Thing is, you have to prepare something that can sit in the pot for a bit, because if it's possible, we like to wait to eat together.

  The other day, she asked me, if i had time, could i put together some hamburger helper. I know it's not a really good dish, but like i said, it can be reheated without changing it's complex flavouring. So, because i had the time, i made the hamburger helper. I didn't think it was so bad. I followed the directions on the box. It's pretty idiot proof. Brown the burger, throw everything else in, cook it a bit, done. We all had some.

  Yesterday morning, there was more burger on the cupboard. I asked what it was for this time. Taco salad. I asked, how she wanted me to prepare that if i had time. She wanted me to leave it for her. I said that really, it wasn't a problem, if i had time, i'd like to help her out. She wanted me to leave it.

  Turns out, i guess i screwed up the hamburger helper the other day. The only step in the whole process that actually requires an inkling of cooking talent, i failed at. Brown the hamburger, simple enough. Seems i only greyed the hamburger. It would appear, i need a hamburger helper, helper.

  My wife is a really gifted cook. She can take an arm load of groceries and put a dish together that tastes wonderful. I wish i had that talent. I can take a group of words and string them together into a coherent thought and occasionally be humorous. I can take a pile of scrap metal and turn it into something useful and functional, I can take something apart and reassemble it, better than it was, with pieces left over. You would think that after hours on the couch watching The Food Network with my wife i would have picked up some knowledge, apparently not.

  ...........of course, i could just stick to making salads, but that's not very good for business.

22 comments:

  1. You know sometimes guys "can't" do something because deep down they don't want to. Maybe you miss your wifes cooking ;) just kidding. Grey hamburger helper sounds delicious. Schloop.

    I'll try to think of some crock pot recipes you can dazzle Mrs. Ken with! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs. Ken would probably appreciate that! We were in this health kick before it got busy and she was making some awesome meals. I may be missing that. Looking forward to the crock pot recipes, i'm always looking for ways to dazzle the wife. ;)

      Delete
  2. lol, brilliant!! I was complete rubbish in the kitchen until I bought Jamie Olivers Food Revolution cook book. Super easy and he teaches you step by step:) best "cooking class" ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi J. Nice to hear from you. Step by step instruction would certainly be a welcome thing right about now. :)

      Delete
  3. Did you drain the hamburger after greying it! lol

    I know a thing or two about cooking. When I make hamburger helper, I toss the instructions and make it my own way, adding other ingredients along the way.

    My specialty is outdoor cooking but I'm not too shabby making indoor meals.

    Here's an easy crock pot meal. Get a pot roast, beef or pork, doesn't matter. I prefer pork. Toss it in the crock with some potatoes (cut into large sections), some sliced carrots, a sliced onion, and a big ol glob of butter. And add a cup or 2 of water(depending on size of meal).Only a quarter of the roast and potatoes and carrots should be in water. Sprinkle with garlic salt, pepper, and maybe a dash of seasoned salt.

    Turn the crock on low and forget about it. 6 hours later you have a tasty meal!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did drain the burger after greying it. That was step #2.
      I will give that crock pot roast a go some time, it sounds simple enough. I shouldn't be able to screw that up?

      Delete
    2. Antonio like's dan's recipe too. He always talks about how he can "make" crockpot meat etc like this. HAHA. I think it's a classic male go-to and memory from childhood too. Big chunks of meat? Good. Big chunks of potatoes? Good. Simple butter/onion/salt/garlic/carrot additions? Good. Feels fancy!

      You could also make casseroles since you guys are still cold up there. I make a tater tot casserole that's pretty good. Line your dish with cream of chicken. Dump in some frozen veggies, add a splash of milk, salt, pepper, etc. Stir. Line with tater tots on the outline. That could be something the kids make for when mom and dad don't want to cook.

      You can also make pizza for better health. Buy a pizza crust/sauce and add things like spinach, bell peppers, pine nuts, olives, mushrooms, mozzarella, parmesan.

      I also might have crockpot recipes pinned in pinterest. Let me check.

      Delete
    3. All very good ideas indeed!
      It must be male genitics, i lean toward large chunks as ingredients too. I will need to remember, the crock pot is my friend. :)

      Delete
  4. The important thing is that you tried! You made your best effort to be helpful. "Browned" is a rather difficult term to qualify, 'cuz you don't want it really brown, as in crispy, either! This reminds me of an epic fail when it comes to boxed food, my ex once prepared Kraft Mac N' Cheese for himself, but failed to read the directions on the box at all, and opted to add water instead of milk. He admitted that it didn't taste very good - I'm sure not. :-) We're trying to eat healthier most days too, it's hard when we are both tired after work. Crockpot meals are great, so is the George Foreman grill for great burgers, etc. quickly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's difficult to have the energy to whip something up for supper when we both are dog tired in the evening. Sometimes, pizza and beer is way too easy. But it's not so good for my waistline. :)

      Delete
  5. I had a few simple things that I could make, but never thought I could cook. The I got divorced and the kids stayed with me.

    My mother told me that they have to eat more than cereal, hot dogs and frozen pizza. So, I bought my first cook book and started attempting to actually cook. It turned out, it was easier than I thought and I have even made a few dishes I consider to be more complicated. I got better and more confident with practice, but was quite proud of myself.

    I even saved some once just to take to my parents house and said, "Mom, Look what I made."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The few more complex things that i have managed to put together, do tend to give a person more confidence toward trying something else. My wife has a drawer full of cookbooks, i may need to do a little light reading, aside from all these blogs that have seemed to have caught my attention lately. :)

      Delete
  6. Drop by my blog and join us in playing One Question Wednesday this week... give your readers a chance to ask all those things they've been wondering about you! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can probably tell by all the Canadian flags on your ticker that i've been trying to see how this works. I recently started taking Wednesdays off from blogging but i'm pretty flexible. I may take up this challenge, I'll stop by later tonight again when i have a bit more time. :)

      Delete
    2. There's no really strict timelines or unbendable rules in OQW, Ken. You are free to post questions or put up your own OQW post on Tuesday (tonite)as many of us do, and you could answser questions on Thursday if you're taking Wednesday off. Everybody is free to adapt the game for their own use. It's just a fun way to ask some in-depth/crazy questions and learn more about each other. If you read thru my answers and The Ranting Monkey's you'll see that it covers a pretty wide range of topics! :-)

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the OQW question! Here's one for you, and you may have covered it before, but it's new to me :-) "How did you decide to be a farmer, what do you like about it, what don't you like about it, and what would have been your second career choice? (By the way, I'm famous for multi-part questions! hehe)

      Delete
  7. Ken, you're Canadian! I should have guessed!

    You are very good with words and you sort of wrenched my heart about with this post lol... I felt so bad for you failing with that dish! If I think up anything easy and tasty I'll let you know - it would be really fun if you tried out something from one of these blogs and the Mrs liked it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! There's so many good ideas here. It's pretty cool how everyone chips in to to help when you come across something that's a bit challenging.
      I am indeed Canadian. I hope that's going to be alright? ;)

      Delete
    2. Simply put - I love Canadians. So yes, definitely alright ;-)

      Delete
    3. well, that's certainly good news. :)

      Delete
  8. Hamburger Helper. Even if I was allergic to all the flavour "enhancers" they use, I wouldn't - couldn't eat it. YEARS ago I was house sitting with a friend. We were looking forward to whipping up some hamburger helper. We got the spices going in the meat. I was about to pour the noodles into the pot when I saw something move. The noodles were crawling with maggots. Gag gag gag gag. If that was the time of email and internet you can bet your ass the good ol' Hamburger Helper folks would have got pictures and gagging.
    Just thought I would share. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well, that's rather disturbing....maybe i'm going to be checking for that from now on!

      Delete