Now, I know that if I actually got up on the morning of the 14th of February, and making the coffee was the only thing that my wife got from me before she left for work, she'd be alright with that. She probably wouldn't say anything at all. She's sort of cool that way. But I would feel like a heel all day, and we wouldn't want that now, would we?
So over the last few days, I've ramped up my questioning of what she would like for Valentines Day. Carefully slipping it into conversations, being all stealthy and shit, secretly trying to see if there was any hint of something she might accidentally give up so the item I eventually got for her, was something that she might really want.
Her answer was always, "nothing."
I love my wife. Truthfully, getting married to her, having sex for the very first time, which also happened to be with her, and raising our 3 children together, are all milestones that are easily the top 5 of things that have happened to me so far in life. Although, those things may not have necessarily happened all in that order. I like her to be happy, maybe walk out the door smiling as she goes to work. But I'm not really as good at Valentines day as I used to be.
I used to be a lot better at holidays like this. I was the guy with the rose petals and the feeble attempt at a hot stone massage. Which I think she tolerated, more than enjoyed. But still, it's the though, right? I did bubble baths with candles, wine, and relaxing nature sounds. I made signs proclaiming my love and pasted them to the outside of every window of the house, so no matter which one she looked out of, there it was. But eventually, you sort of run out of new ideas.
Eventually, you discover that you don't need a particular day to expound the virtues of having your partner there to "be yours." Or some tiny token to show how much they mean to you, that will get tossed aside the next time you clean the house. The older you grow together, sometimes, if you're lucky, just having that person to share your good and bad with is enough.
I come here and tell you what's going on in my life, maybe not quite as often as I would like. Those of you who are kind enough to follow along, know my wife and I took no holiday this winter. That she took some extra days off at Christmas to relax and have company over to entertain, and then we all got sick and Christmas just sort of happened instead of being enjoyed. That we spent the better part of 3 months sleeping in the basement on an air mattress while we renovated our bedroom. And through all of that, she cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and went to work every weekday at an accounting office. Now, she's on the verge on beginning tax season and the hours get longer and an extra day a week will be added to her work schedule. As much as I complain about being stressed, she beats me by a long shot. I'd like to give her something to say, "thanks, I love you, babe!"
Yet when I ask what she'd like, she tells me, "nothing."
So this weekend, we're going to do nothing. We're going into the city, to stay overnight.......and do nothing. Not fit the long list of errands we have to do with each city trip, around things we want to do. There won't be a load of groceries hauled home. No trips to the renovation store for that one extra thing. Nothing. Whatever happens, happens. There's no plans, other than our room reservations. The Saturday and Sunday are ours to do with what we will, and if it turns out to be nothing, that's fine too.
For Valentines Day this year, I'm getting my wife nothing, I hope she likes it.
...........it's exactly what she asked for.
This week, I'll be joining up with the other Dudes at Dude Write, with this post. I encourage you to pop over and read what the guys bring to the table. You can get there by clicking on THIS LINK