Monday, April 30, 2012

#81. or, unpleasant Sunday.

  Saturday evening was absolutely wonderful. After my wife got home from work, we were able to spend some time on the deck, have a drink, and i smoked my first cigar at home this year where i wasn't hiding in the hot tub to keep from freezing to death. It was glorious, later we barbecued steaks and corn on the cob, the evening was quite nice. Only one thing would have made it better but my wife was pretty tired from the home stretch of tax season so i chose to leave her alone. (i'm kind of awesome that way.)

  Sunday wasn't so great. I mean it wasn't a bad day. It was supposed to rain and it didn't, so that was good. But sometimes the things that i have to do, are not entirely pleasant.

  We have a cow that had an abscess on her udder. Yesterday i had to bring her in and lance it. I drained about a litre of puss out of it and then had to flush it out with an antiseptic solution. That was a little bit unpleasant.

 After that, i had to bring a cow in to check her out. She had been acting like she needed to calve but nothing was happening. I brought her in and it turns out that the calf was dead inside her. Truthfully, this was on me. The evening before she told me she needed help. I just didn't read the signs properly. I thought it was a false labour and had decided to give her some more time. The calf was backwards with the legs down. There is no way she can calf like that. After a calf dies inside her, it doesn't take long to start to smell. This wasn't bad but it was on it's way. Basically the calf is standing inside of her facing away from me. I had to reach all the way in, as far as my arm will go. Then i needed a few more inches. (story of my life.) So, my arm is inside of her as far as it will go, that puts my ear up against her other exit hole and remember, she's heaving now because she wants my arm out of her as bad as she does the calf. I have to reach down and find the calf's hoof through all the goo and inside of cow stuff, then cup the hoof in my palm and work it up and out. You don't know how tiring this is, there's a lot of pressure on your arm and it's quite hot. When you get one up and out, you do it all over with the other leg. Then you can put the puller on and get the calf out.

 
 The cow is OK. I gave her antibiotics. Also i had a calf from another cow that didn`t want to claim her calf so i`m trying to adopt it onto her. I hope it turns out well.

  By the time i was done, i was completely covered with cow business and needed to go have a shower. My wife wouldn`t let me into the house like that so i had to take all my gross stuff off, out on the front step so it could be washed. She doesn`t want that type of thing in the same washer she uses for her nice office clothes. We use an old washer and dryer for those things.

  ......Thursday afternoon, my wife`s boss is taking the office out for supper to celebrate a job well done for the end of tax season. Then, she`s taking Friday off, she better look out cause i`m coming for her!

28 comments:

  1. Oh my god. You realize you start out talking about getting frisky with your wife and end up talking about getting frisky with your wife, but in between talk about having your arm in a cow's vagina. All this sex talk.

    Just kidding. Sorry about the baby calve. I don't think I would have the physical or emotional strength for that. Say - what would cows do without you? I mean what else would cows do to push the dead calf out without help? Just curious how that adapted.

    Well sorry about yesterday, that sure is a bummer. I really hope she will adopt the baby!! And I hope you and your wife have a lovely week!!

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    1. I guess that i must have something on my mind?

      I don't think there's any domestic cows running wild anymore. Not here anyways. I suppose that if there was a cow in the wild that had this happen, they would probably both end up dead. Circle of life and death and all that?

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  2. One of the many reasons I could never be a farmer.

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    1. for the most part, you get used to it.

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  3. If I had a farm, I would have a farm guy. Not doing all that cow stuff. Ickk.

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    1. As a rule, most days are better than others.

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  4. LOL "Needed a few more inches... Story of my life!"

    And another lol for going from talking about birthing calves to romancing your wife! You are a funny guy, Ken!

    That's sad that the calf had died. I hope the cow will adopt the unclaimed calf! Would be kind of a touching story if it did!

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    1. Maybe i'm having a bout of spring fever?
      I hadn't really thought about the two aspects of the post being so wildly apart from each other. Must have been my A.D.D. kicking in.

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  5. Awww I feel so bad for the calf - and the mom cow too. Hope she'll adopt the other little guy!

    As weird as it might sound (since most normal people seem to find it gross) your cow stories interest me to no end lol... I love hearing how you pull the calf out and all the gooey details. It's fascinating. I don't think I could do it myself - but I would love to watch.

    So question - you had to strip on your front steps? As in, actually strip, strip?

    And, loved all the suggestions about you and your wife lol... have an awesome week with your cape flapping along behind you!

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    1. I'm really looking forward toward the end of this week.

      so answer - close, but she let me retain some dignity. There was people in the yard. :)

      have fun at the beach!

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    2. Thanks Ken! And I'm happy you didn't have to strip completely lol... although, it would have made for a funny post.

      I keep forgetting to ask you - would it be all right with you if I were to copi the message that you left on my "special request" post and pasted it into my movie blog? It's a nice comment and I would love for my friend to see it. Thanks!

      a

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    3. Feel free to use the message. I like the thought of that.

      Along that funny post thought, i do have a skinny dipping story with my wife that just may become a post one day, I'll have to think about that.....and get her permission. :)

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    4. Thank you and I can't wait! Tell her that at least one of your blogging friends is dying to hear it lol

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  6. Your Saturday evening did indeed sound wonderful and relaxing and I'm betting your wife appreciated it twice as she slowly begins to recover from April madness in the accounting business. Being raised in farm country none of realities of raising farm animals are new to me, but I know such times are not fun, they are hard work, physically and mentally, and of course each calf represents future income as well. I'm sorry to hear you lost one, I know it's not uncommon. Let us know if the cow adopts the abandoned calf, fingers crossed! I suspect your wife will be more than happy to let your catch her once she's had a chance to catch up on a bit of sleep. :-)

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    1. So far it looks pretty good as far as the adoption. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The cow is still looking a little under the weather but she's letting him suck, so that's good.

      I'm actually happy to let her sleep in a bit. She's been going 6 days a week for the last while plus leaving a little early to boot. I'll let her batteries get charged before i unleash the fury on her! :)

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  7. THat makes my 14-hour drive on Sunday seem nice! (and actually, it was fine until the last hour or two when sleepiness hig.)

    We lived on a farm one summer. I loved the fresh eggs. Also the smell of hay. Wouldn't want to stick my arm into a cow, though. (Although, the Bloggess had to do so once. You should get her book.)

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    1. I've been thinking about that. I probably will.

      It wasn't really so bad. i've had to do worse things. Nothing has ever made toss my cookies yet but i've been close a time or to.

      I've made 14 hour drives before, i'd pick the cow.

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  8. Well, I finally get a chance to hop on over here from my hammock in outer space and you are talking about arms in places and dead calves and ...truthfully, fascinating! I am so intrigued by other peoples' lives. I have joined your blog and honestly, can't wait to see what you might just be up to next. :)

    I hope you have a great week!
    Carrie from the Hammock

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by. I feel sort of bad that you showed up for the gross one. Thanks for the follow, i'll try to stay interesting. :)

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  9. No worries, Ken. Be you!!!! I have some free time coming up myself and look forward to backtracking through your posts as well!

    You may or may not know I was part of a blog challenge-write on topics that start with the letters of the alphabet for the month of April. Prior to that, it is all quite random. I'm looking forward to 'free writring' more during my more generous open time.

    I hope the adopted mama cow and baby bond!

    ;)

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    1. I was watching you along with some of my other friends do the A-Z. I think it was a pretty daunting challenge.

      The cow isn't feeling all that well today. She likes the calf though.

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  11. I'll take a look. I'm hoping that the end of the A-Z challenge allows me a little more time to go exploring. :)
    It was a lot of reading to keep up with. I hate to think about the writing it would take.

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  12. I did the A-Z thing last year and vowed never again, they aren't kidding when they call it a challenge! I write daily anyway, but my mind just doesn't like being saddled with daily requirements. By the end a lot of folks were really stretched thin. I've hit times when life took precedence over blogging and I just didn't have time to make the rounds every day. I tried to stop by a few blogs each day and hit everyone's at least once during the week so they knew I was checking in on them. If it becomes a chore it soon becomes something we no longer enjoy.

    Thank you for the contribution to OQW... well done! :-) Here's one back at you if you have the time and the spirit moves you, if not it's no big deal, purely optional...

    You are planning some down time with your wife in the near future, if expense was not an issue, what would be her idea of the most romantic getaway possible, what would be yours, and which one would you go with? :-)

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  13. Reading this post made me feel simultaneously sad and hopeful. C'est la vie, after all...

    -Barb the French Bean

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  14. I would gag but that would leave my mouth open and seeing as how right now I am you with my arm up a cow's business I DO NOT want my mouth open.

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    1. To be honest, sometimes that happens too.

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