#38. or, seafood and a side of boobs

  **** UPDATED 7/8/12. This is a post from back in February that I'm submitting as archived material into the 4th week of the DUDE WRITE competition. Having won top honours last week, I had really hoped to come up with a new post to attempt to at least come close to the bar that I had set for myself last week. Alas, real life had other plans for me, so you get this instead. It's an older post that I liked a bit. I hope that you do as well. Thanks. ****



We decided to go out for Valentine's Day supper. It was really a spur of the moment decision as we had planned to do a dinner and a movie date later in the week as a Valentine's/Birthday night in the city. Now, it wasn't a supper in the grand spirit of the day sort of thing, it was more just meant as a, Hey, lets not cook or do dishes tonight sort of thing. The town we live near doesn't really offer what I'm going to call fine dining, but it does have good restaurants, and to tell you the truth, that's all we were after. Still though, I showered and shaved and dressed up pretty casual. My wife wore what she had worn to work, she dresses pretty nice, I think we looked good. Casual, but still pretty good.

  We both ended up having a seafood dish. They did up the restaurant a bit, we even had a rose and a candle on the table.

  Our supper was about half done when a family came in. A husband and wife, (i'm assuming) and another couple, one of which was their offspring, and their tiny baby. The older lady was a a bit of a bigger woman. I have no problem with that whatsoever, I appreciate women, I try to make an effort to appreciate them for who they are regardless of what size they are. Oh, this woman had very large boobs. Very large, uncontained boobs. Very large, uncontained boobs, with extremely obvious and prominent nipples. Very large, uncontained boobs with extremely obvious and prominent nipples that made their home on either side of her belly button. At least I'm pretty sure they were her nipples, unless she had golf balls in her pockets? I also happen to be quite a fan of large boobs, but I could not for the life of me figure out what possessed this woman to go out with her family looking like this?

  Honestly, I went through scenarios in my head why she was there like that. Maybe they never go out for any occasion and her husband came home from work and said, "honey, I'm taking you and the kids and our grand kids out for Valentine's Day supper!" Maybe in her excitement, she completely forgot to put on her underwear? Or possibly, on their way to town, for the busiest restaurant day of the year, they were abducted by aliens, stripped naked, and after being anally probed, the aliens kept her bra as some sort of intergalactic trophy. Then, being released in a state of  traumatic shock, they forgot she was braless, and in an effort to act as if nothing happened, they continued on to town for supper?

  Could have been, that in an effort to spice up their failing love life, she decided to go commando under her sexiest sweatshirt in order to reignite the spark of lust in her husband? But why include her kids in that experiment? Unless of course, she fully expected them to someday take a position on top of the Co-op with a hunting rifle and randomly begin taking out seniors on their way in for morning coffee? Maybe shes giving her kids a reasonable excuse for an insanity plea for down the road?

  Really, that's all I could come up with, that, or she just didn't really give a shit?

  ................Next week we're going out for my birthday, it might be just the excuse to wear the muscle shirt/ballet leotard ensemble that I have hanging in the back of my closet........or maybe not.