Thursday, March 29, 2012

#64. or, i might be a fugative

  So, our youngest son wanted to be on facebook. My wife and i are on there and he's been after this for some time now. Apparently, AAAAAALLLLLLLLL of his friends are on facebook. It would seem, that if he could only be on facebook, everything in his world would be awesome.

  The trouble is, he's only 12. He doesn't have a phone but he has an ipod. On that, he has something called text plus. That basically turns it into a phone. He has to be on wifi for it to happen, but it works nonetheless. Oh, text plus and facetime. (Damn you Apple!)

  Anyways, we caved. Actually, it was more of a decision based on the fact that if we let him have a facebook account and made him friend my wife and i first, we would probably have more of an idea of what he was up to than to have him texting and doing facetime from his ipod. (Damn you Apple!) So, first i had to set him up with an e-mail account. Because he's the age he is, it had to be linked through my e-mail account. That was fine, i was OK with that, we're honest law abiding citizens. Next, when we tried to set him up a facebook profile, it wouldn't let us do it. The problem is, facebook doesn't want you to have an account if you are 12. So, we had to create a fictionalized birthday for him so facebook would let him in. He was happy. Except, it wouldn't let him do everything that you are supposed to be able to do on facebook BECAUSE, facebook wants to talk to his e-mail. (which still says he is 12 years old.) So, i had to abandon his e-mail that said he was 12 years old and create a whole new one that has a fictionalized birthday which also corresponds with the fictionalized birthday that facebook thinks he has. I YI YI!

  Now, instead of having 3 sons, i have 4. Our fictional oldest son, who has the same name as our youngest, was born around the time my wife was 4 years old!

  If i've learned anything at all from years of watching cop shows like CSI, it's that the more convoluted story that you weave, the more difficult it will be to keep it straight when they come to bust your ass for fraud. I think, that in an effort to keep better tabs on who our kid was associating with, we might have inadvertently become fugitives of the law?

  ..............i fully expect to get a call from Revenue Canada demanding 17 years of back taxes for our 35 year old son who is actually 12 years old. I'm going to use my call to phone Apple or Mark Zuckerberg. One of them should have enough money to bail me out of jail.


  1. Ha. Good luck with that! This a funny story. My dad didn't let my brother/sister get phones until they were 18. They had texting iPods too. I think they were allowed on Facebook at 16 or something. I can understand the multiple identity problems because I have multiple personas too :) it is hard to keep them all straight!

    1. They have medication for that. :)
      (thanks for coming back.)