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Alright, one of the good things about being a farmer is that the world is my bathroom. Now, I don't mean in the sense that I need to carry around a pooper-scooper to clean up behind myself. It's just that I have the freedom to pee wherever I want, whenever I am stricken by the mood. More than once, I've pee'd off the top step of the combine while I unload grain into the truck. It's somewhat liberating.
One of the bad things about being a farmer is that the world is my bathroom. Having the freedom to pee whenever the mood strikes me has left me with pretty much the bladder of an 80 year old. If I need to pee, I had better go quickly or i am going to be in trouble.
So, anyways, we spent the last week in beautiful Puerto Vallerta, Mexico. It was very lovely. To the South of our resort, I think around a mile and a half away (for the sake of this story, you can imagine it was at least 5 miles.) was a stone wall. Two times, I struck out to make it to this wall. The flaw in my first two attempts was that it was in the afternoon after a few rums. I got about a third of the way the first time, about half the way the second. Both attempts fell short. Both because I was stricken with the necessity to pee. (The second time, I actually considered going into the ocean to relieve myself. I didn't though.) On both failed attempts, if you had passed me on my way back to the bathroom, you might have mistaken me for someone who was actually a little bit ripped. This would only be because by the time I made it back, every muscle in my body between my chest and knees was so clenched, it actually looked like I had bulging muscles. (which in reality I don't, but I don't mind if you imagine I do.) The third attempt, I made it, only because, I headed out early enough that the bars hadn't opened yet, and did not contain enough liquid in me that I was able to complete the trip. It was starting to get a little pressing though, by the time I made it back.
Turns out the rock wall was one side of an inlet into a marina, and it was quite a nice thing to see some of the sail boats heading in and out of the bay. There was also a few fellows fishing there and I would have liked to have a few more minutes to spend to look around.
So now, I guess that I need to go into pee muscle clenching exercises so that I can actually walk more than a mile or two before I find myself in dire circumstances. Still though, it's at least two more years I think, before I can do a tropical vacation again so maybe I'm still OK to pee off the top step of the tractor for a while before I start to train.
.........oh, also, I was a little disappointed in the number of people who just look away when you smile and say good morning as you walk on the beach. A lot of the ones who did though had farmer tans and tractor company hats on their heads.