Friday, January 20, 2012

#21. or, yo ho ho

  So, while on holidays last week (this is most likely the last time i'm going to go back to this well.) i made one important discovery about myself. Firstly, you should know that in my youth (and last week) i had always envisioned myself as a swashbuckling adventurer. Some sort of Errol Flynn type, sailing the high seas, waging glorious battles while standing on the bridge of my tall ship. Last week that dream died.

  On holidays, we decided to do this dinner theatre type cruise on an authentic replica pirate ship. I took my prerequisite Gravol and off we went. Now i am pretty sure that 150 years ago, pirate ships didn't run on diesel engines but my imagination is pretty active so i was willing to make allowances. Our assigned pirate. Coral, happened to be the only female pirate of the crew and was pretty smok'in hot. I couldn't help but wonder how she actually would have fared on a ship full of blood thirsty, rum fuelled, pirates but i may have been over analysing it.

  As we waited in line for our turn to board the ship, i should have seen the for shadowing as a couple who had already been seated got up and bolted before they even untied the boat. (i'm pretty sure there is a nautical term for untying the boat but i don't know what it is.)  We boarded, got our souvenir pictures taken, went to our assigned section, sexy pirate Coral brought us our drinks, they untied the boat, and off we went. And i got sick. We didn't even leave the bay and i was queasy. I had to trade off my rum for a bottle of water, which i am sure impressed Coral immensely. As we headed away from shore it wasn't too bad. The show, and the ship was awesome, we went below deck for the supper and i got to feeling a little better. Because of the number of people and the size of the dinning area we ate in two shifts, we were in the first group. When we came back up, the ship had turned back toward shore as the show continued. I truthfully tried my darnedest to focus on the actors but the sight of the shore going up and down, up and down in my peripheral vision did me in. Now, i want to be clear that i did not hurl at any point during our 3 hour tour but i was never so glad to return to shore as i was that evening.

  I could pull off the bitchin hat, i could do the boots, i could rock the sword and pistol, i would be awesome in the leather belts and buckles, but it's pretty hard to strike fear into the heart of your opponent when your skin has turned to green and you are sipping on a water bottle.

  ................i will now focus my dreams on becoming the Batman.

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