Saturday, January 28, 2012

#26. or, white socks

    I'm not usually a wearer of white socks. Truthfully, i don't even know the etiquette for wearing socks. While i do make an effort to look good and happen to have a fondness for bitchin shirts, i don't have a very keen fashion sense. Thankfully, i have a wife that helps me out with that. I am aware of the basic rules regarding not looking like an idiot, not wearing socks with sandals, or don't jam on flip flops over socks so you get that toe wedgie thing happening. I can dress myself, it's the suttle nuances that she helps me with. Things like, don't wear anything red, it washes out my color, which usually happens to be pretty washed out at the best of times. Or that sometimes, two different shades of blue don't work together, to me blue is blue? I am grateful for her assistance in these matters because without her, i most likely would only be a shopping cart away from filling out my hobo ensemble.

  So, the white socks. I got them for Christmas. I probably failed to mention them because, well, they're socks. Now, in defence of the white socks, they do happen to be Edmonton Eskimos white socks, so the do have a coolness about them right off the bat. Until now i have always been a dark sock fellow. Grey being the lightest i would generally lean toward. When you live on a farm, dark socks are more forgiving. You never know when you might step in something soft.....and warm. It's not like i don't change my socks regularly, it's that white socks don't really stand a chance. That green colored stain just above the top of ones shoe line is going to be pretty unmistakable to anyone who knows what that green colored stain comes from.

  The white socks. Heading out to watch my kid at a basketball tournament, i decided to give them a chance. What the hell, it's relatively safe in the confines of a high school gym, right? You know what? White socks are empowering! They're like saying "SCREW YOU UNIVERSE!" i'm wearing white socks today and there's nothing you can do about it!  Bring you're worst and i will laugh in the face of destiny, rise above anything terrible you can hurl at me and i will prevail, unscathed, and still  looking......AWESOME!

  ............i wonder if my wife will let me wear white pants?

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